7/12/2004

Panic

I woke up last night and jumped out of my bed, shaking with terror. I was in the middle of the dark room, and I could hear movement. There were people in here trying to kill me, and I was defenseless, standing there naked.

My heart pumped, the veins thickened with blood, the thick liquid rose into my head, and swirled about in my mind. The stench of fear drifted from my body and permeated the room, it wafted slowly from me, became heavy and dropped towards the floor. My head swung to the left and to the right, searching in the dark, and the humid air was pushed by the swinging, it oozed over to the left, then oozed over to the right.

My nostrils widened, I expanded my eyes, and tried to see. My ears became sharp tips, they swung around to follow every movement. My pupils flicked all around the room at high speed. My hands were folded up into thick fists, ready to punch into the air. I was crouched, my back bent, my legs quivering. The muscles on my back jerked with the tension. My arms tingled.

But it was nothing. There was nothing in the room. There had never been anything in that room. It was empty, it was safe, it was not dangerous. It was a normal room, with normal funiture, normal closets, my shirts hanging over the chair, my computer sitting idly on the table.

I went back to sleep. Everything in the room was absolutely normal. But not me. Not yet.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

John, you're beginning to piss everyone off with your diaries, suppose you stop putting down all Americans, because all of us do not support the war,and most don't appove of what Bush is doing either. Back off we're not all racist as you assume. Especially not me.
Later dude

3:57 PM  
Blogger John said...

I'm not anti-american. I am not anti-bush either. I'm just pro-arab, if you know the difference.

4:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, John i know the difference,but at times you do come down a little hard on Americans, Now put all this aside, i've said my peace. Your stories are interesting that's why morons like me keep checking out your blog.
Have a good day, and someday maybe our paths will cross,but you won't know it.Ha Ha

2:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You say you killed US Soldiers, in my book that makes you anti-American it also makes you a target (weather you did or didn't) that I hope to meet some day.

May the IDF find you crying
SFC

9:13 PM  
Blogger John said...

Every American soldier who is in Iraq has killed Iraqis. A soldier kills the enemy. If an American is the enemy, he will die. Just as the Americans shot at me as we fought, and intended my death, so did I shoot at them and intend their death.

It is called WAR, and you as a soldier should appreciate that.

If anyone were to come for me in a situation that is not a wartime situation, they would be criminal assasins, and they would be treated the same when we captured them.

I may be weak in words, but I have a metal slapping hand.

1:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I understand the killing of ones enemy, after you killed US soldiers you put your self in the same category as the muslim terriost coming in to Iraq to die in place. Making you a "criminal assasin".

Which puts you in the wartime situation until you also die in place. If you have been doing this as long as you say then you know the game always catches up with you.

With any luck we will be in Iraq at the same time and everytime I line up my front post on a target I'll hope that it's you.

SFC

1:03 PM  

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