9/23/2004

Johnny was

Woman hold her head and cry
Cos her son had been shot down in the street and die
from a stray bullet.

A month ago, I sat on a bench in the middle of New York, people walking by me. They walked in slow motion, I look at their shoes moving by, some dull, some shining, some brown, some white. Military boots, sneakers, high heeled shoes of ladies, ugly torn shoes with gaping mouths, other shoes small and cute.

How can you be sitting there, telling me that you care.
When everytime I look around, the people suffer in the suffering,
In every way.


I was my character. I could probably had more money than many of those people would ever earn in their entire lives, yet I felt their disdain for me. The clothes I wore were making me into the person I looked like, I started to find it hard to look people in their eyes. I started to hate them, and the more I hated them, the more I was irrelevant to them. But my hate mixed with fear of them, fear that maybe they were actually that much better than I was, fear that all I had ever been capable of was my current wretchedness.

I felt defiance surge through me, and jerked myself up, about to scream out to the owner of those shoes, that I was worth as much as they were. And there was a man standing before me.

He was dark, wore a dark suit, and a pair of elegant shoes. He stretched out his hand to shake mine, and I grabbed his clean hand with my grubby hands. I sat back down, and he sat down beside me. He spoke.

"Johnny, you know we are having a lot of problems back home at the moment. A lot of the fellows are under investigation, and men are behind bars. Strings are being pulled, but the press is not making things easy for any of us. It is impossible for you to come back for a while, if anyone were to discover who or where you were, it would make our case a lot more difficult. You have been in direct contact with Jacob and the rest. Johnny, you are a direct link between our boys and real violent activity. We need you out of the way for a bit, and as it happens, we can offer you a job. Johnny, we'd like you to do something for us in columbia, in exchange, we will get you out of this situation, and work towards clearing your name from the files."

He continued, and told me about what I was to do in columbia. Then he gave me information on a group that would help me leave to Cuba.

Three days later, I was in Cuba, having ridden on coastguard boats for a bit, and finishing the trip on an engine fitted small fishing boat. I received a cuban passport, and proceeded to make my way into Columbia.

There, I received a pseudo-uniform, and heavy army boots. I sat up for 3 hours polishing those boots, and when I stepped out into the streets, I gave 10$ to the first begger I saw. It was a 19 year old boy, sitting by the side of the road and staring at the shoes of the people passing by.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

GOOD story, and I'm so happy your back to posting. Next time dress out for gym. Ha Ha
Also, I can really relate to your feeling in this story, I've seen it happen a thousnd times. As long as the earth stands unfortunely, it will continue to happen.
ygw
I've really missed u.

2:01 PM  
Blogger John said...

I missed you too ;)

2:43 PM  

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